What Would I demand

Today's post is inspired by Sunday Scribblings post 207 - Demands.

In its simplest form the post asks for us to write about our demands if we were a celebrity. I find this a really hard concept to follow as on the one hand I despise the celebrity culture for the simple fact that for many they are unable to remain hidden in their own private world. Society as a whole wants to know everything about them, Who are they dating?, Has their marriage failed?, How big is their house?, What are their demons?. So I guess that even their demands are there ready, waiting to be plucked from the air and transcribed so dutifully in the pages of Hello, OK and Heat magazine.

Although I must admit that even I on occasion have fallen foul of the societal media machine and purchased that copy of OK magazine just because Peter Andre was on the front cover!! I know it is shallow considering my statements above but I have a genuine like of the guy and find myself fascniated by his life, I do not want to know every little thing that he has done, I'm not interested if he has Bollinger Champagne on tap, or purple towels in his room whilst on tour etc. I want to see the family man, know that he is enjoying his life with and through his young family.

So for me to assume the role of a celebrity would be a difficult one I do not know where I would start or even if I would demand anything. I think I am the most unassuming person when it comes to myself, I like to give and make people happy, anything I want remains hidden inside. Perhaps then I will twist this post and instead of being a celebrity I will be me, because I think that we at some point in our lives can all be celebrities, for example at a prize giving, the birth of a child, our wedding are these not all times when we feel important, on top of the world and as if all our dreams have come true?

Demand 1:

I want to be loved for who I am, not who you think I should be.
I am only a human being I have my own beliefs, thoughts, and dreams.
I make mistakes just like you and they are mine.
I choose my own path through life and cannot tread the one you would like.

Demand 2:

I want acceptance and approval from you, not argument and upset.
I feel that you do not always approve of my decisions, nor understand my motives.
I only have your best interests at heart and want you to be happy.
I want to help you and see you flourish.

Demand 3:

I want you to stop lying to me, as I can see straight through you.
I don't know why you feel it is necessary or the right way to behave.
I cannot take much more of your apparent disregard for my feelings.
I cannot accept you into my circle if you keep this up.

Demand 4:

I want to be happy, move forward with my life and live my dreams.
I need to fly away from all that is comfortable .
I have to live my own life now, and although I will support you,
It will be on my terms and not yours.

Demand 5:

I want to rebuild my relationship with God.
I am trying but I must try harder, I need to work through all of this.
I need the help and support of others to accomplish this
I will succeed, I usually do.

Fluency

This post is inspired by Sunday Scriblings post 205.

Fluency to me is associated with Motion, Liquid and Language. In this post I want to reflect upon the notion of Language.

Recently R and I wondered whether we were speaking the same language as we sometimes struggled to understand each other, in terms of what made us tick. We had seemed to drift away from the reasons why we had got married in the first place, although I suppose that after twelve years together things become complacent, common place and unexciting. We had lost the fluidity that brought us together in the first place. We were now the same people but tarnished with life experience, tiredness, and stress, we had lost the spontenaity, joy and flush that comes with first discovering each other.

I spent a lot of time reflecting about how we had lost our connection, understanding and meaning in tandem. Upon listening to a friend talk about how she did not understand her friends, I felt as if she was experiencing the same things that I was. I asked how she had found a way through and I was signposted to the "Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. I promptly purchased the book and needless since then we have been able to inject a new lease of life into a our relationship and our marriage. It turns out that we have been fluent in the same language all along we just did not recongnise the signs. We have had to make small changes and listen out for the markers that show us how we connect

It is strange how a book can help with the reflection, reconnection and show us that we are indeed fluent together.

Big Dreams

It's been a while since I last published on here. Life has taken many twists and turns, some of them good, some of them not so. But here I am back again and determined to keep some semblance of updatedness.

Sunday Scribblings asked for us to write about our Big Dreams this week, so I thought that I would give it a go.

Our dream that is R's and mine is huge, it involves much money, a lot of boxes, a container ship, a rather long plane flight and 12,000 miles. It means saying goodbye to all that we know family, friends, homeland, security and normality. However, when this dream becomes reality, which we know it will, we will have new challenges, beautiful scenery, new and old friends close by, peace, tranquility, time and much less stress.

Our dream involves moving to New Zealand to start a new life and focus on what is important to us a reconnection with self and each other. We cannot wait to start a new life in the Land of the Long White Cloud

Natures finest, hidden gem
Enchanting places, steeped in beauty
Wonderful delights at every turn

Zephyrs moving through the fauna
Escapism from reality, a distinct possibility
Absolute tranquility, following harmony
Loveliness abundant, throughout the islands
Amazing land, created by God on High
Natural world, remaining untouched by humanity
Delightful land, where anything is possible

Disconnected

The thing I find most frustrating about disconnected is not being able to access the Internet.

When Richard and I met I only used the Internet for study and then very rarely. I had never seen a chat room, I did not have an e-mail account and Facebook did not exist. As the Internet revolution took off I vowed that it would not rule my life, that I would not fall into the trap of being at is beck and call, how untrue that all seems now. Without the Internet, I can no longer seem to function in my daily life, it rules everything that I do. If I am to work from home, I need it to access files and my e-mail account, if I want to talk to friends I need it to Skype or type, most of my computer games seem to require some form of Internet connectivity.

Use of the Internet now seems to have become as much a part of my daily life as brushing my teeth or eating some food. I want to know what happened to that girl who was not driven by the need to sit enslaved to a machine and type, I'm sure she's around here somewhere. I feel that we through the use of the internet have now become more and more devoid from human contact, yes we have endless possibilities and more scope than ever before, but what of our need for affection, compassion and love? Is all we now have perpetuated through the machine?

My poem reflects my thoughts what do you think?

Disconnected

Desiring more than is healthy
Invisible people on your screen
Sensing you are remote
Studiously composing your next response
Cut off from reality
Out of touch with humanity
Needlessly searching for company
Ever present adoration
Cybernetically communicating
Taken and shut off
Enslaved by the machine
Dying to get yet another fix.