Big Dreams

It's been a while since I last published on here. Life has taken many twists and turns, some of them good, some of them not so. But here I am back again and determined to keep some semblance of updatedness.

Sunday Scribblings asked for us to write about our Big Dreams this week, so I thought that I would give it a go.

Our dream that is R's and mine is huge, it involves much money, a lot of boxes, a container ship, a rather long plane flight and 12,000 miles. It means saying goodbye to all that we know family, friends, homeland, security and normality. However, when this dream becomes reality, which we know it will, we will have new challenges, beautiful scenery, new and old friends close by, peace, tranquility, time and much less stress.

Our dream involves moving to New Zealand to start a new life and focus on what is important to us a reconnection with self and each other. We cannot wait to start a new life in the Land of the Long White Cloud

Natures finest, hidden gem
Enchanting places, steeped in beauty
Wonderful delights at every turn

Zephyrs moving through the fauna
Escapism from reality, a distinct possibility
Absolute tranquility, following harmony
Loveliness abundant, throughout the islands
Amazing land, created by God on High
Natural world, remaining untouched by humanity
Delightful land, where anything is possible

Jubilee (Toys)

Ok so I'm a little behind with my Sunday's but never mind ...

Jubilee

Knitted for me,
In the year of my birth,
1977, a time of celebration and Jubilee
Clothed in Red, White and Blue.

Created with love,
By an angel, now up above,
December 1st a time of celebration and birth,
Clothed in Red, White and Blue.

Given with joy,
For the newest grandaughter to love,
The littlest bear, slept by her side,
Through heartache and joy,

Still here now,
Thirty-One years later sharing her bed, the bear called Jubilee,
Waiting for the right time,
To meet the new child, for him to love.

My Angel

This week Sunday Scribblings posted the title "Vision". I decided to share another of my poems this was written just after my beloved grandmother died in 2000. I strongly believe that the night before this poem was written she came to me as an angel and promised to be with me always. From time to time I sense her still, so here is my vision to share with you...

My Angel ...

Last night I dreamt I saw an angel,
So perfect, serene and peaceful,
Her face shone, so pure and radient,
Her smile was a joy to behold, so beautiful.

Her wings made from purest gold,
Gleamed with the sight of the Son,
Her dress made from silky, satin white,
Sparkled with the light of the moon.

Her halo, simple, jewel encrusted,
Streamed with a thousand smiles,
Her not as white as it used to be,
Sparkled like the stars.

She stood beside my shoulder,
Watching over me,
She told me that she loved me,
And that she would never leave.

She's here with me always,
In everything I do,
She's quite simply,
My Guardian Angel.

Soul Mates

Sunday Scribblings asked this week whether we believe in Soul Mates and do they exist? My answer to this is a wholehearted and resounding "YES". I believe that throughout their life a person can have more than one soul mate.

I know that I have had two so far in my life. The first being an ex and the second being my husband. I also belive that although you may find your Soul Mate, you are not always destined to be with them, or that you are with them for a short time until you move on.

I want to share a poem that I wrote at the time I reconected with Richard and realised that he was my soul mate:

You

You came into my life,
like a much needed breath of air,
A light in a world of blackest night,
A world where no one could reach out and touch me,
A world where my frozen heart remained shrouded in ice.

Yet you and only you,
Managed to break the barriers down,
You melted the ice around my fragile heart,
You saw the real me beneath the multicoloured layers,
You saw the real me through the shrouding mist.

You did not turn away,
When you knew of the past, terrible but true,
You stood by and watched me crumble,
You stood by and helped me stand,
You showed me a love so strong and true.

Yet you and only you,
Remained faithful through each and every storm,
You helped me to grow strong and brave,
You helped me to love once again,
You showed me how to live once more.

Through your never-ending trust,
You helped me to love you,
You helped me to care once again,
You showed me a love so strong and true,
And now I want to share it with you

Firsts Part Deux

This week, there has been a truly amazing and inspirational first ...

For the first time in Kent the Youth Service has built an outdoor classroom, thats right an outdoor classroom!!
It's the first of its kind in the Youth Service and the first of its kind in Kent. What makes it even more amazing is that it was constructed in a week and was built entirely by young people with support from youth workers. If that doesn't promote a postitive image of young people I don't know what does.

Over five days (including a bank holiday) young people came together, and constructed this most amazing building. When they started the ground was just a field and by today it was a structure complete with a screen, a sedum roof, planters filled with herbs and attractent plants for indigenous wildlife, bird boxes, tables and feeders. All of which had been constructed by hand. All the materials that had been used were either from sustainable, donated or reclaimed.

AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING

(pictures will follow)

Worry

The prompt from Sunday Scribblings for this week is entitled "Worry"... so here goes.

At the moment there are a lot of things on my mind which give me cause to worry. The first and foremost being that I simply don't devote enough time to God, I mean I try but I always find something else to get in the way. The second worry is that since I started my new job, I don't seem to have enough time to spend with my wonderful husband Richard, he says he understands but I feel as if our relationship is going down the pan. My third worry is connected to the second in that I don't ever seem to have enough "me time", the house is a mess, the garden is neglected and the animals well if I see them at all I'm lucky, my friends who are they? It all feels as if its getting to be too much and then I worry that if I give it all up we won't be able to survive, what with the mortgage, the bills and all the other things we need to spend money on.

I suppose that this could seem a little self- centred but its not meant that way at all, I do worry about my family both close and far away, I worry about the state of our planet, the many crises that occur on a daily basis and I wish that I could spend longer trying to do something to help everybody and everything. But I know that I'm only human, I have limitations and perhaps I should spend time trying to sort out the things in my own garden so to speak before trying to help anyone else.

Disconnected

The thing I find most frustrating about disconnected is not being able to access the Internet.

When Richard and I met I only used the Internet for study and then very rarely. I had never seen a chat room, I did not have an e-mail account and Facebook did not exist. As the Internet revolution took off I vowed that it would not rule my life, that I would not fall into the trap of being at is beck and call, how untrue that all seems now. Without the Internet, I can no longer seem to function in my daily life, it rules everything that I do. If I am to work from home, I need it to access files and my e-mail account, if I want to talk to friends I need it to Skype or type, most of my computer games seem to require some form of Internet connectivity.

Use of the Internet now seems to have become as much a part of my daily life as brushing my teeth or eating some food. I want to know what happened to that girl who was not driven by the need to sit enslaved to a machine and type, I'm sure she's around here somewhere. I feel that we through the use of the internet have now become more and more devoid from human contact, yes we have endless possibilities and more scope than ever before, but what of our need for affection, compassion and love? Is all we now have perpetuated through the machine?

My poem reflects my thoughts what do you think?

Disconnected

Desiring more than is healthy
Invisible people on your screen
Sensing you are remote
Studiously composing your next response
Cut off from reality
Out of touch with humanity
Needlessly searching for company
Ever present adoration
Cybernetically communicating
Taken and shut off
Enslaved by the machine
Dying to get yet another fix.